Presidential Candidates 2008
July 6th 2008 23:08
Questions I’d present to the US Presidential Candidates and answers I might hear if the self absorbed pricks would bother to respond in anything other than political speak.
To be minimally fair, I’m narrowing the field to just three main areas.
So, lets begin.
Where do you stand regarding the following topics and questions?
Personal Life:
• Are you a religious, spiritual or secularly oriented person with straight tendencies
• Was the constitution a religious based document or toilet paper
• Was the country formed on the back of religious underpinnings or what
• Your core moral beliefs stem from what source, porn or puritan influences
• Are you a career politician or just a naturally bossy prick
• Define a family unit that excludes clowns, pony’s, fire hydrants and siblings
• Should the gay population be granted equal rights or lefts
• Where do you stand on the abortion term limits
Remember the Clintons
• Did you serve in the Peace Corps, marching band or other service
• What role does the US have in the world arena besides looting others assets
• What role has education played in your life or not
• Unlimited welfare or job training service for needy citizens
• Socialized medicine, who pays for it when no ones working
• Should the wealthy individual or successful business be punished
• Death penalty, permanent or temporary
• Illegal entrants into this country become indentured servants to legal aliens or not
• Pedophiles ~ chemical castration, death, longer prison terms or divorce
• Would your sex life make for a spicy news scandal if the details about it got out
• Term limits, are you for them or against them, hell yes
1. Mandatory to step down if impeached or convicted of felony
2. Mandatory annual public caning for terms exceeding 8 years and one day
3. No lifelong early retirement benefits except for military veterans
• Limit government involvement in the lives of citizens and businesses or not
• Border Security
1. Put up a double fence 20 ft high with a razor wire top coil,
2. Mine the area between the fences,
3. Electrify the top coils,
4. Put up warning signs in Arabic, French and Spanish
• Equal rights, sure, hahahaha, that’s why we have secret internment camps
• Sanctity of our Constitution
2. Continue to undermine it by action of the Supreme Court Bozo’s
3. Legalize anarchy and machine guns
• Freedom of Religion, or is it freedom from religion you secular freaks
• Simplified Taxation, go for these new flat tax rates
1. 10% for Blue Collar workers
2. 15% for White Collar workers
3. 25% for illegal aliens
4. 50 % for business owners and businesses
5. 75% for politicians
6. 95% for lobbyists
• Medicine, socialize, privatize or subsidize it
• Medical Research, socialize, privatize or subsidize it
• Education, pay for results not for baby setting, and arm the teachers
• Free trade, sure, after we take care of our own
• Tax breaks for Business, absolutely
1. Otherwise no jobs for those illegal welfare recipients and retiring politicians
2. Who else will provide the cash for political slush funds, hookers and graft payments
3. We always need a scapegoat to blame pollution, crime, greed, shoddy products and birth defects on
• Long term energy planning
1. Short term energy relief – allow drilling
2. Allow new processing plants to be built
3. Start the wind generator farms in Washington DC and on both coasts
4. Develop bio fuels from our waste
5. Build nuclear plants
6. Stick a hose up every politicians ass and harvest their hot air
• Mandate American made flex fuel hybrids within a year
1. This will make Detroit crap its pants with joy
2. This will piss the hell out of OPEC
3. This will make me smile
• Military
2. Sell Iran and it’s allies war surplus fighters, rockets and bombs
3. Sell Israel the same items and lease them some allies
4. Auction off the conflagration television rights to the media
5. Provide the press with free transportation to report on developments
6. Start a lottery as to who will come out on top
• Food quality
1. Hire legal immigrants that don’t wipe their ass with our produce
2. Make food processing plant workers eat their own products, daily
3. Encourage American farmers to raise and harvest crops with US labor
4. Stop subsidizing farmers to do nothing
5. Ban wheat and corn related snacks
6. Welfare recipients will replace illegal alien farm laborers
• Meat Packing Plants
1. Make those industry workers eat the ‘downers’
2. Stop over using antibiotic or growth hormones to raise fowl, fish or animal
3. Cut out the salt crap in processing
4. And hire only legal aliens or it’s gitmo time
• Mining
1. Get some precious metals to back our currency, again
2. Mine uranium and start enriching it for ‘peaceful use’
3. Ship depleted uranium to Iran
• Oil Industry
1. Let them drill for oil if they keep things clean
2. Let them built refineries
3. Let them ship crude oil in triple hulled ships or pipe lines
4. Let them develop alt bio fuels
5. Tax them until all politicians can retire and we can start a new crop
• Organized crime and gangs
1. Ship all convicted members to gitmo and free the terrorists
2. Ship the illegal’s back to their countries of origin when freed
3. Erase all of their tattoos, shave their butts and cane their bare asses
4. Make them get business licenses and tax them into oblivion
1. Send them our illegal aliens
2. Start a war with them, it’s good for business
3. Invite them to star in our porn movies, kinky
4. Put them in gitmo too
5. Sell them our nuclear and bio waste, smart
• The environment
1. Rape it
2. Ban global flatulence
3. Make global warming a crime
4. Attempt to repair it
5. Ignore it
6. Lock up all tree huggers for bringing it to our attention
7. Melt glaciers for water to wash our SUV’s turned planters
1. Prosecute them fully
2. Walk away
3. Nuke the entire area
4. Pillage their resources and leave
5. Add Iran to the list and loot all of their resources
• Population Control and Family Planning
1. Encourage cannibalism
2. Start more wars
3. Muzzle the Pope
4. License pregnancies at $50,000 per child
5. Encourage more abortions and sterilize all abortees
6. Mandate a U tapped it, you keep it policy ~ No divorces allowed
As the world see's the USA
• Friends most of the time 51% and up
1. Canada
2. UK
3. South Korea
4. Mexico
5. Australia
6. England
7. Japan
8. Taiwan
9. Thailand
10. Poland
11. Romania
12. Pacific Islanders in general
1. Israel
2. Egypt
3. France
4. Mexico
5. Turkey
6. Greece
7. Philippines
8. Germany
9. India and Sri Lanka
10. Africa
11. South America in general
12. New Zealand
13. Middle East in general
14. Italy
15. Europe in general
16. Spain
17. Puerto Rico
18. Cuba
19. Everybody else.
Another European Hottie
1. Russia
2. Iran
3. Egypt
4. China
5. N Korea
6. Africa in general
7. Venezuela
8. Vatican City
9. The rest of the world
Well, I am trading Ann some shooting pointers and she's giving me political pointers; fair nuff don 't you think? Savor the day and worry about the future when it gets here.
Raven
| 94 |
| Vote |
Add To: 
subscribe to this blog
Comment by Damo
Comment by tlcorbin
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
Comment by tlcorbin
Raven
Comment by KylieW
Celebrity Obsession
Comment by tlcorbin
Raven