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Morning Rituals-We All Got 'Em

December 30th 2007 16:03
Morning rituals are an under rated topic of great important to a silent, but large group of sleepy heads, who take the sanctity of their morning ritual pretty darn seriously. I, Raven, confess to be being a serial sleepnophobe; it steals into my X-file rerun watching and rumination time, ruins my semi-alert mindset, triggers my dread of dreaming and generally eats up time after the midnight hour that could be spent snacking and blogging away my remaining alert brain cells.

Generally, I wish that I could take a pill rather than sleep; then I'd have a genuine excuse for being the cranky person of the year candidate. My sleep issues are pressing, but what is of paramount importance to me is how I am awakened; it can and does literally make or break my DAY.

Upset me just as I re-enter the land of earthly cognition and I lock myself away for the day, because it is difficult for me to regain control of my emotions. That is a horrific situation when married to one of the sweetest person's imaginable; I had to learn a new methodology or risk losing the person that completes my life. And that methodology had to become the epitome of ritual to be sustainable.

My wife has a set 5am to 2pm work schedule, mine is what ever I choose it to be. I usually wake up several times a night to run a perimeter check anyway, and so around 2 to 3am I just stay up. Once I rediscover my way into the kitchen, I'll make some stout coffee with the coffee press, crank up my computers, and wait for my wife's alarm clock to sound off. When she's hit the doze button for the second time, I spring ever so gingerly into action.

I reawaken her by fanning the scent of the coffee her way, until a sleepy half smile lights up her face and then kiss her cheeks and forehead until she gives up trying to sleep and sets up enough to sip her coffee (Usually without punching my lights out for pestering her so early on). That is my cue to disappear until she's further awake.

When she's ready to converse or just hang with me, she'll come in and watch the news or chat about nothing in particular. Then it's back to the busyness of the day, but that first part of an hour is etched in stone, it's not the time for irritation or stress, but a time for reconnecting. The last thing I want to deal with in the morning is a cranky spouse.

So, how do you survive mornings?

Raven

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44 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by Michaelie

December 30th 2007 16:25
I barely do. Sometimes I am sure I won't. I am very nocturnal - as you can see by the hour I am sending this (Aust 3.25am). I only like the rising sun in theory, and movies.

Michaelie

Comment by katyzzz

December 30th 2007 17:01
Good news Raven, coffee is good for the brain, (unfortunately, lack of sleep is not).

Oh, what a beautiful morning, I'm up here with Michaelie at the moment which is definitely NOT my desired status, with all due love and consideration for Michaelie and she is such a sweetie, I'd prefer to be in bed, being careful what I am saying here, on my own.

I do not have Tisha's sweet nature, she's a doll. But, oh, what awful hours you keep, all in the cause of keeping the wolf from the door ( give up, let him in).

Fortunately this post is historical not hysterical ( which seems to be just around the corner) and those delightful children have grandfather's eyes, that is for sure, how are they on sleep?

There are sections of my life that I'd willingly swap but the other sections WIN, and thereby hangs a tale.

I've had my tea ( do not like coffee) and the lure of bed and sleeping again calls and whispers invitingly, both you and Michaelie need some sleep therapy, despite Michaelie's protests to the contrary.

Good night sweet hearts. If I don't sleep then we're all in trouble.

katyzzz

Comment by Michaelie

December 30th 2007 17:14
HAHA katyzzz - sweet dreams!

Comment by tlcorbin

December 30th 2007 17:34
katyzzz, Michaelie just said it all-sweet dreams; the fort will still be here when you return. Raven

Comment by Tracy

December 30th 2007 20:14
Morning Raven

What a gem of a husband you are. I'm also prone to a spot of grumpiness in the mornings but so is my husband so I think it balances out (that's my theory anyhoo).

I often have nocturnal struggles where I wake up far too early with a gnawing anxiety feeling that stops me from going back to sleep. So, I get up, flick the computer and kettle on and try and abate it. Like you, I can work the hours that suit my body so I think I might as well get stuff done while I'm alert.

Then when it's safe to roam the streets I go for a walk with my dog and try to forget that I'm tired and kick-start my body with some scenery and exercise.

Byeee


Comment by James Rickard

December 30th 2007 20:40
There's living through whatever, and then there's surviving! I just gut it out--making it far short of surviving!

Comment by Mr Nice Guy

December 30th 2007 20:53
Raven

Talk about opposites attract.

Mrs Nice Guy is "I Don't Do Mornings" personified, while I tend to be able to function quite happily on 4 hours.

So while mornings are not an issue personally - I do find myself regularly slinking around the house until the first spousal stirrings - which is my signal to get a pot brewed and French toast at the ready.

Have a Happy New Year.

MNG

Comment by tlcorbin

December 30th 2007 22:54
MNG, I know that story very well indeed. Have a Happy New Years yourself. Raven

Comment by tlcorbin

December 30th 2007 22:57
Ahhh, but you are surviving James, and that's a key point to focus upon.

Comment by tlcorbin

December 30th 2007 23:02
Tracy, It's hard to imagine you waking up grumpy, but I'll take your word for it.

Yup, nightmares used to wake me up often, now I take medications that block the dream state. But I still wake up several times a night, until I give up and just stay up.

But the exercise stuff, that's way to rough for this bird, not unless I'm being chased.

Raven

Comment by Lilla

December 31st 2007 00:26
Oh well, that rules out my comment...

I was about to suggest (with enthusiasm) a cure... but it includes, regular exercise like 30 minutes tennis each day, light diet and 2 litres of water per day, only one cup of coffee upon rising (it is a stimulant btw), and some yoga or other deep breathing meditations ... but I guess taking tablets is easier (and I did for about 10 years too, until the old ticker started to miss a beat here and there).

Now, you know I'm just going to say that I love my mornings... and start each day with a prayer of gratitude for the things that are sacred to me.

I hope you find peace soon, Raven.

Lilla ...

PS indepth analysis of your dreams can really help if you look at the symbology and not the literal translations?

Comment by tlcorbin

December 31st 2007 01:25
Well Lilla, actually I'm not quite the couch potato I'd like to think that I am, I catch myself doing an occasional touch toe or push up (usually when I wake from sleeping on my stomach).

I still practice my breathing exercises and hatha yoga from back in the day when was initiated as a sufi.

There were some ferociously fought battles in my dream state, where I would fly and then be hunted by large black wolfish canines and huge cat like creatures in a high mountainous region because I could fly and it would scare me to the point that I would then have difficulty flying. This went on until I became angry about the situation and I became the aggressor and hunted the dream demons.

What still wakes me is the residual smell of my old fear, hatred and mindless rage. I avoid people because once in their proximity, I experience way to much of their emotional wreckage and frankly, I have enough of my own.

But peace has come into my life in the form of a gentle soul, Tisha whose very presence reminds me of who I was and whom I choose to be again.

Tell me more about dream therapy, if you wouldn't mind doing so in the future.

Raven

Comment by Damo

December 31st 2007 01:37
I am not a morning person.

I wake at about 6am.
My wife leaps out of bed full of enuthiasm.

The she drags me out.
After eating I am human.

I am not grumpy in the morning because that requires effort.

Comment by tlcorbin

December 31st 2007 02:20
After your feet hit the floor Damo, how long does it take for the alert portion of your mind to get a grip on the rest of you? I've had those days when it was pointless to even hope for rational thought, so I opt for the man thing and take an early nap. Raven

Comment by Kleonaptra

December 31st 2007 07:38
Short answer?
I bloody well dont.

My alarm jars me awake at ten to 4. I stumble up, throw on clothes (probably inside out and back to front) crawl to bathroom, brush teeth, wash face and apply a cream that MIGHT stop me getting burned as well as pimples. Then, throw coffee bottle in backpack, and hit the train. On my second wake up at 5:30am, I skull the coffee and bolt to work as I only have 10 mins to get there, and Im on the earliest train.

If not at work, I have 2 rituals.

1 - Wake up about 8am, bolt out and feed the horses, then coffee and computer.
2 - do the coffee and computer first, then feed.

My IDEAL?

At about 4am, when Im still awake from the night before, go down feed and do stable jobs. Get back to house between 5 and 6am, then have a shower and retire, waking late afternoon to enjoy another night.

Im nocturnal. These days are killing me!


Comment by tlcorbin

December 31st 2007 09:17
Wowch, that's a tough schedule. There seems to be a lot of that nocturnal stuff going around Kleonaptra, another plus for Alaska, six months of darkness and six of light, we've a little sumpin sumpin for every desire. Raven

Comment by sandeye

December 31st 2007 16:31
well my am ritual is:
wake up
flash the clock to check the time
roll out of bed
turn on PC
pee
fix coffee
and thats it!

Comment by tlcorbin

December 31st 2007 16:59
I hope you're taking time to drink and savor that fresh coffee after going through the effort to brew it sandedye; after I've gotten through that process and the wife is safely ensconced at work, I have another few cups of the amber gold and take a nap so that I am not to worn out to fix lunch later, hahaha. Raven

Comment by Lilla

December 31st 2007 22:54
Hi Raven,

You may not know, but one of my blogs is called Dream Interpretations. It deals with many of these dream images you have listed here. Please feel free to look up things like Cats and Dogs, as well as black and night time. In the spotlight posts there is a heading Do You Have Dream You Want Interpreted in it, I deal extensively with dreams of flying and demons for many orblers. Reading through the interpretations may help you?

Deep Dream analysis involves getting a couple really good Dream dictionaries and writing down what you remember when you awake (whatever time that is). Then diligently going through the symbols shown ‘objectively,’ one by one until you 'see' that you are the one trying to reach yourself, with all the answers held within the symbols you show to yourself.

LIke all successes persistance here is key.

The thing I have found over many years of learning and studying this fascinating human condition, is that most of us are unaware that WE are the ones trying to tell ourselves these things. Again our western culture leaves us high and dry as to our true power in healing ourselves, filling our heads with limiting, scary rubbish, instead of the beneficial truths found within the unstructured realm of our own dreamscapes.

I have found that there are common symbols to all mankind (Karl Jung's Collective Consciousness), as well as individual sets of symbols that stick to us for a long period of time, which WE draw into our dreamscapes, in order to deal with the trauma/situation.

Fundamentally, dreams are like the pressure valve on a pressure cooker. They allow us to let off steam, to kill and be killed, to seduce and be seduced, to win and loose, all within the safety of our own virtual-worlds, but never without a REAL clue as to the way forward - if only we'd take the time to interpret them daily, instead of switching on the tube.

It has taken me 12 years of continual effort, exercise and daily analysis to really ‘get it’ and what I am trying to tell myself with each set of symbols I use to draw my dreamscapes. I am so glad you’ve found Tish, to allow you the place of peace you need to do all this healing and integrating. It really is the first step and it amazes me how the universe sends along such gentle souls when they are most needed.

Raven, to be chased by demons is far better than to be the aggressor here, because to be the hunter here means that, unable to deal with the conflicting personality trait in a constructive way (most likely due to a previous lack of understanding), you have decided to hound and kill off that part of your personality, instead.

Keep in mind that the true mark of intelligence is to be able to hold two conflicting thoughts in our heads at the same time, whilst continuing to function. (can't remember who said that, but it was someone important)...

As you have said, you need your demons (dark side) and must integrate it properly if you are to be effective in living. It is this darker side that is tempered by our light, but necessary to direct that beam of light to do good.

So, to be in any danger in a dream, is simply you drawing your attention to the stress you are feeling about this situation and your need to deal with it. I would suggest that next time the demons chase you, turn and fight them, but not with the intention to kill them. See where it goes... I bet they scarper and leave you in a crystal palace of beauty or something as nice... *laughs*

The rest of the symbology gives the clues to what the core of that is.

You are bringing Demons in to chase you. In our dreams, demons are usually about our guilt - real or imagined. As such a personification of this evil side of ourselves, we often need to have an object to confront. In dreams, as in fantasies, things like Demons and Beasties allow us to do that and can represent anything from the guilt of not implementing that new diet or exercise program, to simply not being able to follow through on some decision we had made and not kept, or indeed one we feel a little underhanded about?

Cats are about feeling and expressing sensuality, Dogs loyalty, but also perhaps an annoying pest if they are barking all the time… what are they warning you about?

What is irritating you?

You need to look up WOLF here too as it has much meaning.

(Look up Animals in Dreams posts on my blog for more details).

But in a nutshell:

Angry Wolves appear to ask you to expand your limited view of the present situation. You must find the courage to look at new ideas, now.

(The colour Black is important here and you should look it up <<here>>)...

In general, the Native Americans believe that Wolf medicine says : The gift of wisdom comes to you when you have walked enough pathways and found enough dead ends to truly know the forest.

This reminds me of a common Buddhist saying;

1) I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost . . . I am hopeless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

2) I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I'm in the same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

3) I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in . . . it's a habit
My eyes are open
I know where I am
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

4) I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I walk around it.

5) I walk down another street.


Again, any dream where we are being hunted is all about sexuality and your relationship to it. It is your subconscious registering (again) that a change is needed through sacrifice. Flying is about the desire to release the thing that is holding us back, about our spirituality finding it's route freedom... Sometimes we must sacrifice our suffering in order to move forward.

Alternatively, becoming the hunter is as I said, a warning about that part of ourselves which can be destructive and vicious, preventing us from going forward… and our desire to kill it off as a hindrance. If you should succeed in killing off these parts of yourself in the dream, then it is a very sad dream. Better you be killed, truly, because to die in your dream will indicate that the problem has been sorted and put to rest, and the change required is on the way.

Pamela Ball has a Complete Dreams and Dreaming Dictionary out on the market and I would recommend it to anyone as a great starting dictionary. I wish you luck, because I know that along with the effort to record and decipher your dreams as a way of working through your issues will lead you to a much happier, empowered existence and perhaps more sleep, too… *laughs* it is a great by product of the effort taken. Work it seems, is always it’s own reward.

I look forward to hearing what becomes of you in the battle the next time they come and you stand your ground.

Sleep peacefully, friend.

Lilla ...

Comment by Tracy

January 1st 2008 01:53
Hi Raven

Thank-you for the compliment, but it's true, I'm not usually that great in the mornings.

I didn't know you could take tablets to block dreams, seems like there's a few of us with sleeping troubles. I might hop over to Lilla's site and see why I keep getting harrassed by growing, hairy spiders each night.

Byeee

Comment by tlcorbin

January 1st 2008 03:01
Yeow...I'm going to print out your response Lilla it is far more detailed than I dared even think it would be. Thank you for taking such pain to respond.

Some of what you suggest seems to resonate internally as being correct and now I need to reflect on the information and make sure I understand what I think you are saying.

Tracy, it may be worth your time to ask your doctor about something to help relieve the nightmares, Prazosin does that for a lot vets; but it isn't the drugs primary use and was found to be a useful side effect. Odd huh? Lilla's information may be more useful, but I do understand the vexing problem.

Thank you both for your concern, insightful comments and wit that always comes shining through the dark places. Raven

Comment by tlcorbin

January 1st 2008 03:10
Oh, wow, I just took a quick tour of your posts about dreams, Lilla, I'll be cruising qbout in there for a bit. Raven

Comment by Lilla

January 1st 2008 22:00
My pleasure Raven,

I'm sure working with dreams has the power to help you resolve many issues.

Lilla ...

Comment by Tracy

January 1st 2008 22:06
Thank-you, Raven. I am actually going to see a doctor tomorrow as it's getting a bit hard to function and those dreams aren't good for the soul. I sort of know what's going on, but dealing with it is the hard bit...and getting my mind to have a rest...it sounds like you know what I mean.

Thanks for your help,

Tracy

Comment by Lilla

January 1st 2008 22:37
Tracy and Raven,

After my 10 week ordeal and resulting NDE, and after I had passed the suicidal stages from the information that I would have to learn to live with pain (and probably no sex) for the rest of my life, (before I started working with dreams), I found that an over-the-counter pill worked really well to help me sleep enough to dream, but not so heavy that I felt like I had been kicked by a mule each morning when I woke up.

In Australia it's called Restavite and I found that only half of one tablet was enough to stop the nightmares completely and help me have a good nights sleep with plenty of dreams until I was sufficiently past the really paralysing early stages of PTS. Raven for you they might have a different name, but the chemical composition is 25mg of Doxylamine Succinate.

Unlike their 'adult' antidepressant and sleeping tablet counterparts, Doxylamine is not addictive and I took them for about 11 years without becoming hooked. I still have some handy if I should have a set back... so far, so good (touch wood)... the dream therapy, exercise routines and change in diet are producing great results.

The packet suggests 2 tablets per night, but I am very sensitive to chemical substances and alcohol and only took half, they are quite strong otherwise ... and far superior to any prescription I ever got. Not a knockout, but enough to stop the nightmares and ensure at least six good hours of kip... that's all you want, right?

I hope the information is useful to both of you and you make it off the PTS nightmare-flashback merry-go-round really soon.

Lilla ...

Comment by tlcorbin

January 1st 2008 22:53
Lilla, thank you very much for the additional information and sage advice for both Tracey and me. This post and it's comments could be very useful for many readers provided that they find it, I know it's a gold mine for me.

Medications affect me profoundly now that my system is very clean, they actually had me on medications that I discovered myself addicted to. So, I withdrew cold turkey and we revamped my treatment plans. It's still being modified and adjusted. I hate missing out on half of my life because I'm semi conscience from over medicating.

Raven

Comment by Tracy

January 2nd 2008 03:20
Hello Raven and Lilla

Thanks for that help and advice. I tried Restavit a while ago Lilla and I forgot that it actually helped (tells you a lot about my jumbled mind at the moment doesn't it?!).

You are spot on, Lilla:

Not a knockout, but enough to stop the nightmares and ensure at least six good hours of kip... that's all you want, right?

Raven, I know what you mean, I've been on medication where it may help with one thing (ie sleep), but also gives you that hazy-I'm-not-quite-sure-what- day-it-is feeling. I much prefer not being in that state and able to function without such medication. Usually my balance of walking, meditation, laughter and all the wonderful people in life (and some dodgy telly programs) work things out and things are great, but sometimes (ie now), I feel less balanced and need a bit of a hand.

Thanks for all the help in this discussion,

Tracy

Comment by tlcorbin

January 2nd 2008 03:53
Tracy, it's been therapeutic and informative for me. The Lilla and Tracy team brought new insights to the table for me to consider. Great stuff. Raven

Comment by Tracy

January 2nd 2008 04:43
I like the name of the team, Raven...makes me smile

Comment by tlcorbin

January 2nd 2008 04:56
Me too. Raven

Comment by Kleonaptra

January 2nd 2008 06:38
Hi everyone! Kleos back!

This has been so damn inspiring I had to pipe up again. And to think I was going to post on morning rituals too! I think when you know a persons morning ritual you get to REALLY know them.
Raven,
I avoid people because once in their proximity, I experience way to much of their emotional wreckage and frankly, I have enough of my own.
You and I are kindred souls mate. Im always the one in the crowd that gets picked out for asking directions or whatever. People always pick ME. And 5 seconds of standing there I can feel their emotional turbulence rising like a wave.....Like they want me to save them. How impossible, when I dont want to save myself. It does cause me endless hilarity!
Lilla....
I love that you mention doxylamine! That is one of my most favourite drugs - in Mercyndol too. I think youve got to be nuts to take 2 as they recommend - I usually only take half and not very often. Not so much for sleep, but for muscle cramps and knots.

The more I hear about your story the more I admire your strength and courage. Why do bad things have to happen to such very good people, when I see the bad ones avoid it so well?

Comment by tlcorbin

January 2nd 2008 12:30
Welcome back Kleonaptra, this post has become something remarkably helpful. Lilla,Tracy and now you, have freed this post to soar with your candor and brought a new vision to it that I find inspirational. Raven

Comment by Lilla

January 3rd 2008 01:42
Kleo,

No need to wonder. Clearly understood, it is simply Karma. Everything is the result of Karma, and for me (now that Iunderstand properly), a thrill to have paid that back. The debt is cleared and I never have to pay that again.

A reason for rejoicing.

I have this great CD I'd love to send to all of you here, if you'll PM me your PO Box No's(?)

Raven,

It is precisely the reason I thought blogging would be a good idea... well the second reason, *laughs* at first I thought I might make lots of money... HAHAHAHA... the irony is, that this is so much better than money...

Cheers to you all,

Lilla ...

Comment by Tracy

January 3rd 2008 06:04
That's a very kind offer, Lilla, thank-you,

Tracy

Comment by tlcorbin

January 3rd 2008 06:59
Yes it is Lilla, Thank you. Raven

Comment by KylieW

January 8th 2008 01:39
I am NOT a morning person. I'm nocturnal. Mornings offend me. So I try to get through it by talking at little as possible and trying to wake up as gently as possible.

My dad is one of those terminally cheeful morning people (I say terminal because it is almost certain that a member of our family will one day kill him for it!). Back in the days when I still lived at home, my dad would sing and dance his way past my bedroom on his way to the shower (at 6am - I didn't have to get up until 7am). Then he would stop at my open doorway and begin yelling at me loudly "KYLIE, HEY KYLIE, WAKE UP" until I would eventually stick my head out from under the blankets and scream at him to "F**K OFF".

With his mission accomplished, Dad would then happily continue on singing and dancing his way to the bathroom.

He's lucky that I love him a lot. Cos I personally think that as long as I recorded his harassment of me that I could have killed him and there's not a jury in the country that would have convicted me. I mean that's just wrong!!!!

Kylie

Comment by Tracy

January 8th 2008 02:01
Oh gosh, Kylie, your story made me splutter my coffee everywhere!! Especially this bit:


My dad is one of those terminally cheeful morning people (I say terminal because it is almost certain that a member of our family will one day kill him for it!).

As I'm not a morning person, I know just what you mean. Sometimes Rich whistles and sings and it takes a lot of my self-control not to tell him to stick a sock in it. After all, it's not fair that he should suffer because I don't like mornings...I suppose...

Hi again Raven...

Comment by tlcorbin

January 8th 2008 02:48
hahaha, try this one on for size Kylie and Tracy. When I was just escaping my toddler years, I was a ward of the state and living in a foster home. The Ink's family took us in and would awaken the household with an old fire engine siren sounding off in the duct work, before the chickens were awake. Even they had hatched an assassination plot, so oh yeah, I know what you mean.

Being keenly aware of that fact, I try always to wake Tisha up gently, thoughtfully and with a smile-no loud noises.

Thank you lady's for the visit and for sharing, I'm with you both on this one. Raven

Comment by Tracy

January 8th 2008 06:15
Hi Raven

That's a very kind way to wake Tisha up and I'm sure she's grateful.

I think that how we're woken up affects our mood for at least a while. If I had been woken up by a siren in my childhood, I know I would've been grumpy (at the least). That is not the way to wake up...gosh..

Tracy

Comment by tlcorbin

January 8th 2008 13:46
Oh, you know it Tracy, it was the chickens and me against the siren blowing tyrannista's. We lost, in the short term but they're still on the planet (uh,.. sadly the chickens aren't) working out their karmic issues; how sweet it is.

The marine corp boot camp set another wonderful bench mark tone for, "How not to wake anyone up," a future short novella by Raven and others.

Tisha
does have much better days when she awakens in a good mood, and I am one of the fortunate benefactors, making it all worthwhile. Raven


Comment by Tracy

January 8th 2008 14:04
How lovely and thoughtful, Raven:

Tisha does have much better days when she awakens in a good mood, and I am one of the fortunate benefactors, making it all worthwhile.

You are a gentleman indeed.

Tracy

Comment by tlcorbin

January 8th 2008 14:30
I wish the same thoughtfulness for your life as well Tracy . Raven

Comment by Tracy

January 8th 2008 14:34
Thank-you, that is a lovely thought, Raven. I have a lovely and kind husband who is a gem. Plus he makes me laugh, sometimes out of humour and sometimes out of frustration...it's a mixed bag that I love.

Tracy

Comment by tlcorbin

January 8th 2008 15:47
And that makes me smile from ear to ear Tracy. Raven

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