Critical Environmental Issue Exposed!
June 25th 2007 18:27
How do you keep your Glaciers so clean?
We use our surplus oil money revenues and have them all power washed during the night. That is part of the reason why they’ve retreated so far up their respective valleys. It caused a lot of consternation among the environmentalist crowd; they were becoming fully vested into the global warming mindset, it was so much easier for them than to (sic), waste efforts on thinking. You, know that thinking, hypothesizing and theorizing can be so hazardous to a scientific career. It is kind of like premature ejaculation, it’s a bit of a relief for some, but isn’t all that satisfying for all of the parties involved.
The local Democratic Party members in Juneau, were very concerned about the wasted ejaculates, and demanded that local state officials initiate an inquiry into the matter. Naturally, they immediately applied for matching federal funds after the investigative committee called; The Bi-Party Committee to Prevent Premature Ejaculate Waste (or the BPCPPEW pronounced BP-C-PP-eeEW) was formed to offset criticism from the Republican Party members, concerned that they were abusing the intended use of the junket fund account set aside for these ejaculate matters.
The intense infighting during the debate presented quite a view fest for anybody who happened to be tuned in to the local government cable show at 3 AM. When, during a particularly heated portion of the debate, an awkward exchange occurred between our state Governess and the leading Demon-cratic Whip over the correct definition of “premature ejaculation”.
However, during a simultaneous emergency session, the state Republicants approved a new bill that would to continue funding the glacier cleaning operation. The funding would come from new tariffs paid by undocumented tourists. They reasoned that by imposing punitive new taxes upon any tourist coming ashore and setting foot on natural ground in Juneau, they would think twice about it in the future. But the amnesty and automatic citizenship clauses contained in the bill are still pending, subject to Supreme Court review. Tourists world wide are up in arms about the matter, especially those from Mexico, whose traveling labor pool does most of the glacier cleaning; usually after ICE and other government offices are closed for the night.
Well, because you asked for it, there was your answer; was it good for you?
Raven is asking.
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Comment by katyzzz
Photography Tips
MS Paint Art
I'm really pleased to hear your glaciers are scrubbed sparkling ice, I've always loved that colour.
Incidentally I had to go on a route march to find you here. I just can't wait for your karma to hit 10.
katyzzz
Comment by tlcorbin-raginravensview
Coffee Quip
Those darn sexual connotations were inserted into the fray by nefarious members of the Alaskan political system.
I have started posting most of my things under the Lifestyle headings; I'm to lazy to do much else. hahaha
I'm working on the 10 issue as we speak.
Raven