4th of July - this birds view.
July 4th 2007 14:01
In 1776 the USA was installed as a nation, our independence won; July 4, 2007 is a day that rolls around every year where we honor that occasion and I should be thrilled to my core to join in the celebrations, have a BBQ, join in local pageants, but I am unable to do so.
As a Marine who served his country and fought in Viet Nam, without debating the dog eared issues attached to the conflict, I made my contribution in the name of America and it’s continuance as a free nation and at the behest of its people. I can relate easily to the real cost of the freedoms we enjoy, having bled and suffered for them myself.
Truly, if my government would allow me to do so, I would happily - cheerfully replace any US combat troop we have on the ground anywhere in the world. Even if I knew my death was imminent. I would do so with this hope, that it would allow a worthy young man or woman to live as long as I have had the privilege to do in this country; I would do the same for any soldier serving a freedom loving country that would allow me to replace that one soldier. Do I have a death wish, as I have said in the past, suicidal thoughts are my constant companion; but not in this case.
My source of angst on the forth of July is simple; the fireworks displays and noise of bursting firecrackers is far more of a burden than I want to bear. When that tumultuous din commences, I am back on a battlefield instantly engaged and on high alert and incapable of enjoying a picnic or friends and family.
I haven’t been able to sleep tonight, and it’s doubtful that I will be able to again tomorrow night; the night terrors are having a go at me. The urge to confront an unseen enemy is nearly over powering. My weapons are safely ensconced elsewhere, while my nightmares have me on guard duty – ever vigilant; after forty years of this malady, we are old hateful friends my vigilance and I.
During this un-holiday, in celebration of America’s Independence Day, I will withdraw to a safe quiet area, and direct my meditations and prayers towards unilateral peace; but I can count on my ghastly pain filled memories to surface without invite, ever the persistent demons. Often, tears flow for the fallen and the walking wounded; friend and foe equally, but I can’t cry. It’s hopeless for me. Tears flow and anger wells up over mans inhumanity and willingness to engage in the wantonly destructive actions of armed conflict, war, but the cry of relief will not surface. The real cost of independence is constantly defending it.
Was it, is it, ..worth it? Right now, I want to blow chunkies, I am trapped in a displaced moment. During this period of time Tisha will set by my side, with her hand on my lap, and I know the price for me is cheap at any cost.
Raven
P.S. As a buffer for any pain I have caused you: Water skiing anyone?
As a Marine who served his country and fought in Viet Nam, without debating the dog eared issues attached to the conflict, I made my contribution in the name of America and it’s continuance as a free nation and at the behest of its people. I can relate easily to the real cost of the freedoms we enjoy, having bled and suffered for them myself.
My source of angst on the forth of July is simple; the fireworks displays and noise of bursting firecrackers is far more of a burden than I want to bear. When that tumultuous din commences, I am back on a battlefield instantly engaged and on high alert and incapable of enjoying a picnic or friends and family.
I haven’t been able to sleep tonight, and it’s doubtful that I will be able to again tomorrow night; the night terrors are having a go at me. The urge to confront an unseen enemy is nearly over powering. My weapons are safely ensconced elsewhere, while my nightmares have me on guard duty – ever vigilant; after forty years of this malady, we are old hateful friends my vigilance and I.
During this un-holiday, in celebration of America’s Independence Day, I will withdraw to a safe quiet area, and direct my meditations and prayers towards unilateral peace; but I can count on my ghastly pain filled memories to surface without invite, ever the persistent demons. Often, tears flow for the fallen and the walking wounded; friend and foe equally, but I can’t cry. It’s hopeless for me. Tears flow and anger wells up over mans inhumanity and willingness to engage in the wantonly destructive actions of armed conflict, war, but the cry of relief will not surface. The real cost of independence is constantly defending it.
Was it, is it, ..worth it? Right now, I want to blow chunkies, I am trapped in a displaced moment. During this period of time Tisha will set by my side, with her hand on my lap, and I know the price for me is cheap at any cost.
Raven
P.S. As a buffer for any pain I have caused you: Water skiing anyone?
| 134 |
| Vote |
Add To: 
subscribe to this blog
Comment by JoshZ
To say that this is a good post is insulting. It goes beyond good into an area where words aren't enough.
There are alot of loudmouths out there. LIke an old poet said
Some folks inherit star spangled eyes,
Ooh, they send you down to war, Lord,
And when you ask them, "How much should we give?"
Ooh, they only answer more! more! more! yoh,
YOu are a patriot in the true sense of the word. You love your country, even though you see her flaws, her ugly bits, and the things you don't want to know about. I respect that immensely.
I also respect the fact that you are a man of sincerity, not just nice words or good catch phrases.
I wish you a fine Independence Day. I believe that you are a man that understands Freedom. With your permission, I will pray for your sleep.
Blessings,
JZ
Comment by Winston
Small Thoughts on Big Questions
I hope that some peace finds you over the next couple days. You are, as Josh said, a true Patriot.
Comment by Ash
Flashes of memories
This was a great read for a totally different perspective on the day. So often these stories are the forgotten ones with little thought given to the real meaning and memory of such days.
I`m sorry that you have to relive this every year however I find your patriotism inspiring. Josh and Winston have said it best.
ash
Comment by Lara M
Love Speaks
Food Slate
Take care.
*l...
Comment by katyzzz
Photography Tips
MS Paint Art
I am lost for words, sleep on my son.
Put me down for the skiing, there's no risk of the plane taking off and dangling me in the air, is there? I can dive, fortunately, but not from too great a height.
katyzzz
Comment by tlcorbin-raginravensview
Thank you for your blessings and for understanding my stand on this subject.
Winston,
Peace is all I have ever desired in my heart of hearts.
Ash,
Your words are very kind.
Lara M,
I am re-inspired by the concern and well wishes extended.
Katyzzz,
Thank you, a peaceful nights sleep would be a great prize.
@All,
On the news: a fireman back east, shot at 4th of July revelers because of the constant retorts of firecrackers; that's why I lock all of my weapons up this time of year.
Honestly, I tried to visit various sites and make comments; but every time an pyrotechnic explosion occurred, I quaked inside and would loose my train of thought.
I did spend the bulk of my day quiet, if I spoke a hundred words throughout the day I'd be amazed. Yes, I did meditate and intention my prayers to the best of my ability; uninvited tears and grief washed over me in unregulated waves, but no relief accompanied any of it. Odd day.
My heartfelt hope for everyone: Peace, peace and even more peace.
Raven
Comment by Wendi
Please forgive my tardy reply. I seem to be living my life by the "day late, dollar short" principles these days.
So well told, and such an important reminder to us all that what we have should not be taken for granted. Freedom isn't free.
As a kid, I grew up thinking Fourth of July was nothing more than my mom's birthday, and that all the fireworks were on her behalf. Sure, the schools tried to tell me different, but my mother's insistance on it had me convinced... (almost).
It wasn't until I was well into my adult life that I began to realize the true significance of the day, although I don't know if I'll ever truly understand the significance of fireworks.... like smoking cigarettes, I suppose, lighting fireworks seems no different than lighting money on fire for the purpose of watching it spark and smoke.... and risking the neighborhood rooftops and personal injury ta boot.
We avoided that chaos this year and spent our day in nature, appreciating the environment we call home, visiting Mammoth Cave and Nolin Lake. Kentucky is a gorgeous part of America and celebrating its beauty was a fantastic way to celebrate our freedom.
I've never been overly patriotic, but patriotism is growing on me.... your post is deeply touching.
There's a sign hanging on the door of the local corner market that reads, "If you value your freedom, thank a veteran."
That being said, Thank You.
W
Comment by tlcorbin-raginravensview
Great choice Mammoth Cave, family time is always appropriate. I love Kentucky, the hero of my youth lived there.
Your comments are very welcome, any time that you find time available to make them.
Thank you.
Raven